…that I’ve arrived in Texas. Either Texas or Arizona or New Mexico. Or Arkansas. I have to think about it for awhile. Also, I left a lot of stuff I meant to pack, like the part of my brain that makes funny blogs, so I have to have someone ship that out to me. And so, you know, it’s going to be quiet around here for awhile longer, while I figure out which state I’m in, and where I left my personality, and what it was I came out here for. You know how it is when you get all flustered some days and can’t remember what point you were trying to make with your life?

But I think if I just throw out all these old receipts that are cluttering up my wallet, and if I moisturize every night and arrange my shoes so that they’re all pointing North, and if I really read the New Yorker - you know, really read it, not just skim it - I think if I do all those things, I’ll probably remember how to write this blog.

Meanwhile, do you guys ever think that maybe celebrities disappear when we close our eyes? Ha ha, I know, I am such a narcissist!

Argh, you guyyyyyiiiiiisssss, I am the worst! I am SO super busy busy busy with being sad and confused amazing busy life stuff right now, I just haven’t had a second to revel in the never-ending cavalcade of Daily Outfits and lovely meals and poetical indoor scenery and celebrity happenings that is this amazing, dizzying, glorious life we all lead!!! On Tumblr!!!

Basically, Robert and I are preparing for yet another cross-country move (for some reason, we have really frustrating crazy “I can’t think of anything to do but call the cops five times a day” neighbors everywhere we live), and moving is really stressful for us, because I’m all, “I think we should break up!” and Robert is all “I need a higher SPF than this - I don’t care what the government says!” You know how couples are.  

But I did want to pop in briefly and say that I saw Bridesmaids yesterday, and I thought Gwyneth Paltrow was adorable in it. And it’s so cute how she and Blythe Danner always play mother-and-daughter! But I do have to say, I think Gwyn is getting a little long-in-the-tooth to play these cute young fuck-ups anymore. I mean, she looked a little haggard in this. Come on, Gwyn! There are plenty of awesome sexy roles for older blond women! Let Carey Milligan have a turn already!

As technology improves, more and more of us work from home, or from the library, or a bus shelter, or the Betty Ford Clinic, and we don’t technically have a “dress code”. We don’t technically “see other people” during the day; we don’t always exactly “leave the house.” But that’s no reason to sacrifice our love of Daily Outfits! We all want to dress with the care, and the attention to detail, that our rich inner lives demand. 

Listen, though, who says you can’t have a fashionable and artistic day at home in your comfiest pair of PJs from time to time? For example, today, like so many days, I didn’t really see the point in getting dressed, but I still looked chic and put-together, and I still went through the Four Stages of a Successful Daily Outfit:  

Wistful and contemplative:

Joyful/carefree/full of laughter/frolicsome:

Wistful and contemplative (seated):

And apoplectic:

Darlings, je ne donne pas vraiment une baise ce que vous portez, et ni faire vos amis imaginaires! Bisous! 

Sometimes, if you find yourself stuck in your career or your personal relationship, a good thing to pay attention to is whether or not you’re saying yes. A lot of times, when people ask us a question, like “Do you have management experience?” or “Do you love me?”, we have a tendency to stop and consider the answer. But, guys! For successful individuals, there is only one answer for any question ever: “Yes!” Trust me. This is the missing key to your life. Practice saying yes to the following questions:

Q: “Are you familiar with Quickbooks?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you consider yourself a people person?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you want to get a coffee sometime?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you have a doctorate in urban planning?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?”
A: “Yes!”  

Q: “Do you see us as still together ten years from now?”
A: “Yes!” 

Q: “Do you see yourself still with this company ten years from now?”
A: “Yes!” 

Q: “Are you willing to relocate to Oymyakon?”
A: “Yes!”

Q: “Do you respect me at all?”
A: “Yes!” 

Q: “I see you’re quintlingual. What languages do you speak?”
A: “Yes!” 

Yesterday, while Lindsay Lohan was making yet another court appearance in her long-running copyright infringement lawsuit, her ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson got tackled to the ground outside Macy’s Department Store!

This is SHOCKING!, but also? It’s not really shocking. As a former New Yorker, I can tell you, shit gets real outside of Macy’s. You really have to keep moving, or it can quickly become a trample situation. Now, Sam is from LA, and those people tend to meander all over the sidewalk, so I can see how this would happen. 

Incidentally, I note that Sam was there promoting her new fragrance line! I’m not particularly interested, as I’m pretty wedded to my Curious by Britney Spears, but some of you might want to give it a go. As summer heats up, I’ve been noticing a lot of people smelling really bad out there. 

(via)

Sometimes, I like to look and see what’s in my fridge, throw it all in a bowl, and eat it! Like the other day, I took a nice cucumber, a beautiful tomato, some well-mannered snap peas, and a log of witty and insightful mozzarella, sliced it all up, drizzled it with a teensy bit of precocious and somewhat insubordinate olive oil, and ate it slowly and without much enjoyment!

Ah, summery fresh-ish vegetables eaten in the soft, ambient glow of an ever-present Macbook. This type of improvised meal just makes me think of June, and every other month!